How Can Elderly Couples Successfully Transition to Assisted Living?
Moving to assisted living as a couple creates some unique dynamics in the sense that you’re not just getting used to it. You’re both going through a significant transition together and supporting each other and you go. To make a successful transition, you must meet your own needs and those of your relationship. If executed correctly, this move can strengthen rather than weaken your relationship. Here’s how!
Talk About It Early
Do not wait until something bad happens before making a decision. Couples who discuss assisted living while they are still healthy and clear-headed are more likely to make a smooth transition. These early conversations allow you to process your emotions, consider your options, and make sound decisions together.
Be open about your fears, hopes, and things you cannot change. One of you may be worried about losing your freedom, while the other may be concerned about being alone. If you understand each other’s concerns, you can come up with solutions that work for both of you.
Go to Communities Together
Do not base this decision solely on brochures. Schedule tours of assisted living communities near you, and pay attention to how you both feel about them. Are you both excited about the activity calendar, or is one of you more interested in the apartment layouts? These responses reflect what is most important to each of you.
As a couple, pose questions to each other. One partner may consider practical issues, while the other may focus on social ones. This combined perspective allows you to examine communities in greater depth than either of you could do alone.
Choose the Right Size for Your Apartment
You might not think this is an important decision, but it is. Some couples thrive in small studios where they are constantly close to one another. In contrast, others require separate spaces to maintain healthy boundaries. Look for floor plans that provide both the space you need to be together and the space you need to be alone.
Consider what you do every day. If one of you wakes up early and the other sleeps late, a one-bedroom with a separate sitting area could help you get along better. Conversely, if you’re used to spending a lot of time together, a studio could be ideal.
Decide What to Keep Together
When you downsize, you must make difficult decisions about what to keep. Do not regard each other as enemies. See each other as partners. You both have significant memories, and you should respect them both. Make it so that everyone can block specific things.
Instead of focusing on what you are giving up, consider what will improve your new life. The large dining table will not fit, but the small bistro set allows for comfortable dinners. Your extensive book collection must be reduced, but it’s nice to have your favorites with you when traveling.
Create Plans for Various Levels of Activity
You may have varying interests and energy levels, and that’s okay. There are many different activities available in independent living and assisted living communities, so you don’t have to do everything together. One partner can attend exercise classes while the other focuses on crafts. This independence in the community fosters strong relationships going forward. You should help each other achieve your individual goals. Your partner’s enjoyment of their activities makes you happy as a couple.
Be Honest About Health Differences
Usually between aging couples, one partner often requires more assistance than the other. When examining communities, couples should be honest about their differences. Even though you’re moving together, the staff should understand that you have different needs. This prevents issues from arising after you move in. The healthier partner should not be the primary caregiver. That is what the staff does. Keeping your role as a spouse rather than a caregiver will benefit your relationship.
Maintain Your Relationship Routines
Bring your relationship’s traditions to your new home. If you used to have coffee together every morning, continue that tradition in your apartment. If Friday is movie night, keep it going in public places. You could also start new traditions to spice things up as you grow older together. You could start going for walks every night or doing other activities together regularly.
Allow Each Other Time to Get Used to Things
You might get used to things at different rates. One partner may make friends immediately, whereas the other may take longer. Do not make each other feel the same way.
Check in frequently, but not excessively. For instance, “How do you really feel about being here?” initiates a conversation without judgment. Do not try to fix everything right away; instead, listen.
Looking to Live In the Ideal Community for Aging Couples? Learn About Elison Independent & Assisted Living of Maplewood
At Elison Independent & Assisted Living of Maplewood in Bridgeport, West Virginia, we understand that couples need senior living options tailored to them. Our community offers apartments ideal for two people, activities enjoyable for all, and staff trained to assist couples at every step of the transition. We provide both independent and assisted living options, so we can accommodate your changing needs while keeping you together. Schedule a tour today to learn how assisted living can help your relationship thrive while providing the support you both require.
